I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
