just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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