Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Your cock deserves a montage
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
