They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
