Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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