wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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