so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
