VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Randomize
