playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
