I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
