Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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