im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
