I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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