i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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