Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
