i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
