Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
