whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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