just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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