goodnight i made you a song goodbye
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
