It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
