Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
love makes seman taste better
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
