i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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