We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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