Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize