Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
