I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
