1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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