all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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