Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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