that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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