i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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