One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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