Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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