I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
