addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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