And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
