I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
