You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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