just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
