Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
