i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
