I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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