the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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