was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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