what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
