The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Boobs speak an international language.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
