Whod you bang
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
