if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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