When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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