i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
tell me about the eggs
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
