he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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