Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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