It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
