after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
