Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
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