after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
