So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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