their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
So apparently I’m into choking now
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
