You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
