never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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