That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize