Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
