What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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